A black creature likened to a panther is stalking the streets of London. It has been given the name ‘The Beast of Sydenham’. A crack team of armed police with rifles and Taser stun guns have been dispatched to the area. A copper who claims to have seen this menacing creature described it as being as large as a labrador. We at Blighty wonder whether it was black like a labrador, had floppy ears and went, ‘Woof woof!’