This week on Blind Date three middle aged men are competing for the affections of the gay man.

Contestant number one says that he has many gay ministers underneath his cabinet. He’d previously had some inside his cabinet apparently. Surely a better hiding place would have been the wardrobe. Has he never seen a Brian Rix farce?

Contestant number two says that he had been wrong, in his previous life in the cabinet of a dominatrix, not to share his gay literature with other people. But he says not to tell the Daily Mail.

Contestant number three says that disenchanted gays are turning to him for enchantment. He is very attentive, when he’s sober.

The three contestants have put their case. Which one will the gay man go for? And do we get to see the video of them larking about together?