One time MI5 spy and ex-convict David Shayler plans to stand against the Prime Minister in his seat of Sedgefield in the coming election. Shayler is to be ‘the man in the white suite’ opposition. This refers to journalist Martin Bell’s campaign against Christine Hamilton’s husband at Tatton in 1997. Then, Bell dashed about the place in a white suite looking like Henry Fonda in 12 Angry Men. Luckily for him there were rather more than 12 angry men in Tatton that year, the anti-Hamilton feeling won the day and Bell was elected.

Quite what recommends Shayler as a ‘white suit’ candidate we’re unsure. His only claim to fame is that he went to prison for breaking the official secrets act in 2002. We gather this must give him some kind of street cred. Shayler says that, unlike in America or France, our leader can only be voted out of office by his local constituents. This is enough for him to leave his retirement home in Eastbourne and shoot back up north from where he originates. He is standing on an anti-war platform. He claims to be fighting for our very democracy. Grand words indeed, but we’re rather disappointed that he isn’t using a pen that shoots poisonous gas or an ejector seat. Standing for Parliament just isn’t very James Bond, is it?