Those ne’er-do-wells from Hacksville have been at it again, breaking and entering. This time a Sun reporter has carried a box labelled ‘Bomb’ into the grounds of Windsor Castle. If this wasn’t enough to alert the 5 million quid security operation, he had ‘Tabloid Turd’ written across his forehead too.

The felon, Aaron Barschak, has done this sort of thing before. He previously gatecrashed Prince William’s 21st birthday, but was scared away on that occasion by some lunatic in a Nazi uniform. During today’s escapade he drove a discreetly spray-painted van around the grounds, honking the horn like one of the Banana Splits, before being given directions to the Saxon Tower. Then an accommodating guard offered a light to ignite the comedy fuse. The guard was reported to be inconsolable afterwards, when Roadrunner didn’t turn up.

Fun and games aside, the lesson is stark and one that should be taken very seriously. It seems that tabloid journos can insinuate themselves into any place they choose. One could be standing behind you right now. It is a chilling thought. Action should be taken before it’s too late. Bring back the birch!