Britain’s wealthy and influential send their children to Cambridge to finish off their education. The only alternative for any self-respecting toff being Oxford. Of course, not all rich kids attain a place at these two celebrated seats of learning. The really dim ones end up at Durham instead.

As well as the renowned finishing school, Cambridge is famous for the River Cam. This updates every minute and if you register online, for a small fee, you can view local girls pleasuring themselves on the water. The Romans were the first to make use of the River Cam, another example of how advanced a culture they really were.

Indeed, Cambridge has a long, rich history. Having been a Roman camp, a Saxon market town and a Norman military base before it became the place of learning we know it as today. This is reflected in the various examples of chapels, churches and college campuses that abound. One of the most celebrated being the Leper Chapel which, alas, has very little of its original structure left standing.

Places to visit whilst in the area include Insect Research & Development Ltd, where you can buy a selection of lice, scabies and dust mites from the visitor’s shop, Houghton Mill, a 17th century water mill on the River Ouse, where you can see real life millers… milling about, and the local nature reserves, where you can observe the curious species of twitcher that creep about in the bushes frightening the children.

Yes, there certainly is more to Cambridge than its posh school, even if those self-satisfied toffs can be a pain in the arse sometimes!