British women lead the world
In these post-empire days of British self-deprecation it might often seem as though we no longer lead the world in anything much anymore, but hold that thought. Because in some areas we still remain unrivaled. No one can drink like our Great British girls! Our dipsomaniac damsels, staggering around towns jamming stiletto heels into grates, can drink any other nationality under the table. Our ladettes are the pride of the wasted world. Numero uno! So take that handbag in the mush Jenny Foreigner!
According to new research 18 to 24 year old women will be drinking 291 litres of wine a year in the UK by 2009. And that’s each! That’s equivalent to three large glasses of red a day. About as much as Blighty will be swilling down his appreciative gullet this evening. Admittedly, a wine glass to Blighty is a vase to many people but three moderately large glasses a day seems a lot of pickle for the tender female liver.
There is also concern about the changing image of the female form. Rachel Gower of the monthly women’s magazine ‘The Slapper’ says, ‘it is bad enough that arse cleavage, once strictly the domain of the sweaty male builder, is now considered de rigeur by many of our women, but the growth of the female beer gut is very concerning.’ A group of academics at Barnsley College of Bodily Research have produced a diagram illustrating what the typical British female will look like in 2010 (shown above).
Yes it seems as though another bastion of masculinity is to be breeched. The male beer gut is now under threat from these ‘lushes ladies’. Is nothing sacred?
Posted: April 23rd, 2005 under In Passing.
Comments: 6
Comments
Comment from Andy Dabydeen
Time: April 24, 2005, 5:01 am
Maybe this is extreme femminism. 
Comment from brian
Time: April 24, 2005, 7:35 am
Fish and CHIPS batman, what is the typical British woman eating these days?!
I can give some insite on the differences between a male and female gut though. They are not the same. Male beer guts tend to be round, and ride on the lower part of the midabdomen, just above or about the waist. Females tend to deposit from the lower abdomen to the middle, spread across the torso, so they end up with an almond shaped gut.
Either way, wine is not what is giving these people guts. Wine is incredibly low carb and helps emulsify fats you ingest while drinking. Red wine in particular has grape seed extract in it which may strengthen the heart and arteries when taken on a regular basis.
~brian
Comment from Marlowe
Time: April 24, 2005, 9:52 am
I don’t think our women just drink wine. That was more a way of measuring the amount of alcohol I think. Rather than using units. Many drink beer and anything else they can get their hands on.
From a personal point of view I’m glad to hear about red wine not causing beer guts though!
Comment from Tim
Time: April 24, 2005, 4:53 pm
Hope that doesn’t start happening to women worldwide! I like women just the way they are (typically). If we keep putting crap into our bodies and polluting the world we will all be mutants, anyway.
Comment from marie b.
Time: April 25, 2005, 2:40 pm
so, by 2010 all British women will look constantly pregnant and / or malnourished, with a pouchy belly on an anotherwise thin frame?
i’ll stick with my big frame all over.
Comment from Marlowe
Time: April 25, 2005, 2:46 pm
What, you mean like men with beer bellies?
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