It’s that day in the calendar when all good Britons take to the streets dressed as various kinds of fruit and have cardiac arrests live on TV. Yes, it’s the London Marathon again. A day when people with no sense of humour can claim one by wearing something idiotic for charity. (Cynical old git - Ed)

People completed the course dressed in all kinds of weird and wacky outfits this year. Someone even ran in the guise of Paula Radcliffe, but she blow her cover when she went on to finish the race.

Millions of Londoners lined the streets, cheering on the runners, and photographing the ones with weak bladders as they relieved themselves on the roadside. Others just turned out to see what London looks like without stationary traffic clouding it in exhaust fumes.

And there was nearly a shock, as a 73 year old granny dressed as a grapefruit crossed the line first! It later transpired that she was actually completing last year’s race. Her daughter said she had been wondering what had happened to her.

Kenya’s Martin Lel actually finished this year’s race first, in two hours, seven minutes and twenty-four seconds. About the time it took Blighty to get out of bed this morning. Well done Martin, for avoiding all those annoying people dressed as halfwits.