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Annual heatwave prediction

A cleaner at the Met Office yesterday bought a tube of factor 3 sun-cream and booked a holiday to Margate in July leading all today’s newspapers to forecast a British heatwave this summer. Many of us are going to die apparently, especially if temperatures in Northern Scotland rise above freezing. The Met Office have been quick to play down this prediction saying that there might be plenty of sun around, but that clouds could block our view of it quite often. They do say that it might be a warmer summer than average, but that average includes the ice-age temperatures so don’t store away your overcoat quite yet.

Warning sign on a British beach

The Government have devised a heatwave plan however, just in case. This would include health inspectors walking the streets and beaches during July and August checking for people who feel a bit warm or show signs of developing some colour in their ashen cheeks. They will loosen dufflecoats and apply knotted hankies to potential sufferers. There will be warning signs on beaches throughout the country (see above). The Government will also be publishing leaflets on how to deal with heatwave conditions. This involves building a shelter using a kitchen table and bedroom door. Those in London have been told to head for the Underground if the clouds become thin and there is a risk of sunshine. Hot Bovril will be provided.

Levels in the country’s reservoirs will be monitored too, just in case rainfall figures dip below 1494358786345785.60mm. Then emergency action will be taken involving the army buying up all the bottled water from supermarkets and emptying it into the depleted reservoirs. The public can also contribute. They will be asked to remove any ice-cubes from their freezers and melt them into their nearest reservoir.

It’s good to know that whatever kind of summer we ~~enjoy~~ endure this year steps have been taken to secure our well-being.

Posted: May 12th, 2005 under In Passing.
Comments: 5

Comments

Comment from frobisher
Time: May 13, 2005, 5:12 pm

We here in Bournemouth are on “amber” alert awaiting the hundreds of thousands of people expected to flock down here after cancelling their two weeks in the Greek Islands - as we speak 1000’s of candlewick bedspreads are being laundered, ready for the rush.

Comment from Todd
Time: May 13, 2005, 5:27 pm

I spent the summer in London in 2000, and boy was that ever a brutal heat wave. Something unexpected - I was sorta hoping for the stereotypical London fog

Comment from Marlowe
Time: May 13, 2005, 6:00 pm

Hi Frobisher and Todd, thanks for the comments. I hope Bournemouth isn’t too hectic. Is there anything good on at the Pavilion this year?

Todd, London can get warm, but I think that’s due to all the engines running in static cars

Comment from frobisher
Time: May 14, 2005, 11:33 am

The usual dross at the Pavillion again this year, “That’ll be the Day” again. Even Peter Andre cancelled his gig there (hurrah!). Don’t know what’s on at the end of the pier theatre, is Brian Rix still alive? I think the great British farce is long overdue for a revival . . . hopefully not a victim of the heatwave

Comment from durrel2
Time: August 5, 2005, 6:50 pm

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