Harrogate is a genteel Yorkshire town, which means that it’s full of middle-class biddies drinking tea. Betty’s Tea Rooms is the supping hole of choice, although it comes at a price. A small cup of Darjeeling will set you back £33.89, and that’s without a spoon. They’re an optional extra, as is a chair. Expect to queue for a couple of days if you actually want to sit down. Blighty top tip - bring a tent.

Thirsty queue outside Betty’s

There’s more to do than drink tea all day of course, you could opt for a glass of sulphur from the Royal Pump Room instead. It’s much cheaper and tastes not dissimilar to the Darjeeling at Betty’s. And while your insides slowly corrode what better way to spend the afternoon than in the recently refurbished Sun Pavilion. The extensive renovation carried out in the 1990s brought many of its original features back to their former glory. You can sit and chat with some of them about their experiences in the Boer War.

Harrogate is another one of those Spa Towns that seem to crop up all over the shop. Unusually, this one wasn’t founded by the Romans. They avoided Harrogate after hearing that Betty’s didn’t serve decent coffee. It was William Slingsby in 1571 who first drank from the spring and realised that it tasted as revolting as other spas he’d visited. Later, the physician Timothy Bright declared that the water had healing properties, shortly before dying of consumption.

Of course, with all this drinking going on you’ll want a decent loo. But be sure to go before 9pm as they’re all locked up by then, the locals already tucked up with their bedpans. It’s probably advisable to leave before then anyway, as nightlife in Harrogate means to get to the end of it still breathing.

Other things to see while in the area include Ripley Castle where the Ingilby family have lived for 700 years, although they’re considering putting it on the market now to raise money towards a flat in Chelsea, the RHS Garden Harlow Carr where you can take a trip back in time to see gardening before that Irish bloke started chucking pieces of metal around the place, and Stump Cross Caverns where you can crawl around the caves and find the bones of previous visitors.

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