Prime Minister Tony Blair was returned to power last night, leaving Michael Howard to ponder on the fact he was beaten by someone less popular than a paedophile asylum seeking gypsy carrying bird flu. Consequently Howard deported himself back to Transylvania, where he will spend more time with his breed.

However, there is little celebrating going on in the Labour camp today. Blair’s majority has been cut in half, leaving him only 66 up. This will be a headache for the House of Commons staff as they will now have to build an extension on the opposition side. Many of the new Lib Dem MPs favour the conservatory option. It will lead to a less confrontational, more laidback, atmosphere, they claim. Especially as summer is on the way.

The most depressing result of the night came in Bethnal Green where ex-Saddam Hussein concubine George Galloway won a previously safe Labour seat with his new party Respect For Dictators. He targeted that seat specifically because he doesn’t consider the standing MP Oona King black enough. He claims that she is one shade lighter than his suntan. Blighty wonders how the reasonable people in Bethnal Green feel about having neighbous who support a man who once said to Saddam Hussein ‘Sir, I salute your courage, strength and indefatigability.’ Oona seems such a nice girl too. Shame.

As for Charles Kennedy, he shouldn’t be cracking open the champers tonight (stick to the usual dram Charles). He picked up a few seats but it wasn’t the breakthrough it should have been considering he is everyone’s best mate. And now that the LibDems appear more electable their policies might get analysed next time around, which can’t be good news for them.

So the election is over, and the Election Watch series comes to an end. We could continue with it but think it might seem a bit silly really, with material thin on the ground. Blighty hopes you enjoyed reading it, the both of you. And we would like to congratulate Tony Blair on his historic third successive Labour term. Never previously achieved. Winning when nobody likes you has to seen as some kind of achievement doesn’t it?

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