So you’d rather live in the 11th Century?
In light of the tabloid newspapers obsession with the ‘good old days’ and Britons forever expressing dissatisfaction with 21st century life, Blighty is beginning a new series. We are taking the Blighty Time Machine through the centuries and it starts here with a look at the 11th century, the limit to this prototype’s reach. We will be going century by century up until the 20th century, when we’ll move more slowly, decade by decade. In theory anyway.
11th century England wasn’t a good place to live if you were English. Although, other nationalities seemed to enjoy themselves here, especially after a few beers. First it was the Danes, with the great anagram King, Cnut, barging around the place knocking people’s blocks off and nicking all their posh cutlery. Then the French sent a gang of hardmen (unlikely as it seems today) across the channel for a punch up. They decided to stay and take over. The old aristocrats were downgraded to serfs, although they remained in council tax band H, much to their chagrin.
The Bayeaux Tapestry
If you were one of the masses, you probably weren’t too concerned with all this raping, pillaging and warring , unless you were raped, pillaged or warred yourself. Your life was insufferable anyway. There was no TV, the recreational facilities were seriously under funded and getting a decent dentist was almost as difficult as it is today. The whole country stunk of bad breath, BO and sewage. If you could stomach it, there was nowhere to go for a decent meal, even after the French arrived, and the music charts were very dull. Most people didn’t even have central heating and there were problems fitting double glazing as single glazing didn’t yet exist.
So, what was a cold, smelly, hungry and bored 11th century person to do with himself of an evening? Well, he could die, always a popular option. If you were lucky enough to make it to your twenties you were unlikely to get too cocky as there was a one in two chance you wouldn’t make it into your thirties. And if you did, life would begin to drag by then anyway. Those who didn’t die spent their evenings joining their warts together with a bic pen.
Of course, it wasn’t all bad news. There were positive aspects to 11th century life. There were no radio phone-ins, rich people were always killing each other and traffic jams were unusual. Generally speaking though, life was a bit dull, unless you were being killed. Are you sure you’d rather live in the 11th Century?
Person to be in the 11th century - Norman
Person not to be in the 11th century - King Harold’s optician
Posted: May 10th, 2005 under Living in the Past.
Comments: 11
Comments
Comment from Jilly
Time: May 10, 2005, 10:47 pm
PMSL at the tapestry!
Comment from Gone Away
Time: May 11, 2005, 1:25 am
Very amusing. However, there were aspects to life then that you have not mentioned. It was the only period in which England led Europe in the arts and posh people on the continent would send their sons to our little island to be educated. There was no feudal system (introduced by those bastards, the Normans) and most men were free to own land, follow their trade or just generally loaf about in monasteries as they pleased. If England has ever had a golden age, it was from the reign of Alfred the Great (the only one of our kings to be so called, and with good reason) until Edward the Confessor dithered away our country. All English history from 1066 onwards is one of exploitation and greed by the Norman aristocracy, the most serious result of which has been the caste system that still motivates our politics and daily life. Weep for England, my England.
Comment from Marlowe
Time: May 11, 2005, 10:46 am
Glad you had a chuckle Jilly!
‘Gone Away’, I’m sure there is a lot of truth in what you say, but to those at the bottom of the pile wasn’t the only difference to their life that their lords spoke a different language? Oh and don’t forget that those Danish tourists didn’t visit quite so much 
The age you talk of as golden was only so in a historical context. I doubt many 21st century visitors on the Blighty time machine would want to hang around there too long. I’ll try to add a bit more period detail in future though.
Comment from Edgar
Time: May 11, 2005, 1:29 pm
I think you forgot a very interesting option. This one was inspired to me by Ken Follett’s Pillars of the Earth, which i happen to be reading right now. Being a plebeian certainly sucked, and being an aristocrat didn’t really guarantee you could defecate anywhere else than a hole in the backyard. Taking holy orders was probably the best step towards what a 21st century man would consider a civilised life. But, in order to really enjoy you stay in the 11th century… Why not become an outlaw?
Outlaws live just like there had been a nuclear holocaust and mankind had been forced to climb back to trees, deliberately ignoring those fools on the ground who keep claiming that there are still hierarchies, laws and tax duties. They need something, they get it, if they’re strong/quick enough. Survival of the fittest. Natural state, according to Rousseau. Of course you should feel sure about your skills and abilities before trying such an individualist, independent way of life, not to mention your power to confront other dwellers of this idyllic paradise whose neck may be as thick as your wrist. Anyway, does it sound that bad?
Comment from Gone Away
Time: May 11, 2005, 5:39 pm
Thanks for the reply to my comment. I have to admit that I was stung sufficiently to go into greater detail on this but, rather than mess up your comments system with a long rant having little to do with the intent of your article, I posted my thoughts on my own blog. Have a look if you’re interested. Apart from anything else, it might be good for traffic…
Comment from Jenny
Time: May 11, 2005, 10:06 pm
Great post! I’ll look forward to reading your take on the other centuries.
Comment from Marlowe
Time: May 12, 2005, 9:24 am
You’re right Edgar I did overlook crime. Especially as it is one of the main bugbears of today’s society.
Thanks Jenny, glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from Gareth
Time: May 12, 2005, 9:37 pm
You did get paid in beer in those days, and even the women and children drank copious amounts of beer because the drinking water was so bad.
Comment from Marlowe
Time: May 12, 2005, 10:30 pm
The beer wasn’t much better than the drinking water though, I suspect. Still, it did have some alcohol in it so it would have helped.
Comment from Gareth
Time: May 13, 2005, 2:53 pm
Some alcohol? It was actually about twice the strenth of a modern bitter!
Later on in the middle-ages, when they got a bit more refined, they introduced ‘table beer’ for the ladies, which was about the same strenth as a pint of mild.
And you think the lasses today over indulge! It’s the English way I tell you.
Comment from Marlowe
Time: May 13, 2005, 3:11 pm
But what did it taste like? Any better than Special Brew?
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