It has come to Blighty’s attention that there is much interest in the British weather this summer and the potential for a heatwave, with even talk of Scotland thawing out. So, in an attempt to stop any confusion here is Blighty’s long term weather forecast.

At the beginning of the month a marching band of very low pressure, so low it might slip by undetected, will swing in from the west, east, north or south, depending on which way you’re facing. It will bring some intriguing weather in the north, with the south experiencing more banal stuff. Although the south west could experience some unusual weather for the time of year, especially on Fridays.

Towards the middle of the month things could change or remain the same. If it changes there will be a noticeable alteration of meteorological conditions. The second Tuesday of the month could bring the warmest spell for parts of North Lincolnshire at around 3.15 in the afternoon. Elsewhere will remain unchanged, or changeable, depending on conditions.

The end of June looks to be quiet in the south, but much louder in the north, especially towards the coast where there is every chance of a tide or two.

Rainfall for July could be lower than average, depending on the build up of clouds in the atmosphere. The first two weeks look less intriguing in the north, with the odd chance of settled weather moving in from the east and west squeezing out the bit in between. Watch out for falling debris.

The middle of the month will see some bright spells where solar rays are unobscured by cloud. A sun-cream is recommended where such conditions occur, especially if you have a history of skin cancer. Alternatively, you could visit the north of Scotland during the sunny spells.

Towards the end of July pressure will build in the Azores causing stress throughout the country, especially in the south east. Head aches expected later. There will be no snow during the month of July.

August could be a scorcher, if there is sufficient dispersement of vapourous elements above, otherwise it will remain overcast, leading to complaints in the north and emigration to France. There will be a sea breeze, especially near the coast, though that could die down leading to still conditions.

The middle of August looks best in some areas, though not so in others, depending on your location. Conditions could be changeable everywhere, especially around dusk and dawn.

The end of August could lead to earlier nights and the odd spell of seasonal weather mixed in with unusual conditions, with precipitation likely where rain falls.

On a final note there is a possibility of ice caps melting in the Arctic which could cause an ice age developing in the north, north east, south east, south, south west, west and north west. So, don’t put your dufflecoat away quite yet.