Brits, so smart we’re boring
Blighty’s chest is full with pride today on discovering that a global survey puts Britain top in intelligence, Norfolk notwithstanding. However, it’s not all good news. Being clever-clogs means we’re a bunch of boring old buggers apparently. We are polite and honest too, especially our bloggers. Britain was also said to have the best class of football hooligan who, instead of resorting to knives like fellow Europeans, relied on good old fashioned fists and cafe chairs instead.
Overall Britons came second in the best ever nation of people top ten. Sweden came top because they make affordable furniture and don’t go around beating other people up. They were also said to produce the best porn stars, always an important factor. Turkey came in bottom of the list with the ‘violent Russians’ next to bottom.
Americans might not be quite so enamoured by the poll, as they were considered ignorant. When it was put to Reverend John Luke Matthew Jr of Mississippi today that the the rest of the world considered Americans ignorant he replied ‘rest of the what?’ The President, George W Bush, took the survey more seriously, however. He said that it didn’t reflect very well on the perceptuals of Americans globularly, but that they had the biggest bombs so get over it.
Of course we Brits are far too intelligent to take such a survey seriously, and we’re far too polite to scoff at the dolts who make up the rest of the world’s population. We are a tad worried by our fellow inhabitants, however, if we’re regarded as the cleverest on earth. The people polled obviously haven’t met our neighbours.
Posted: June 5th, 2005 under Commentary.
Comments: 12
Comments
Comment from Cheryl
Time: June 5, 2005, 12:41 pm
Is this dry sarcasm or facetious wit? I shall worry about that, of course. I might worry about my spelling, too.
PLEASE get an RSS feed so I can subscribe to your feed on bloglines. Pretty please.
Comment from Scott
Time: June 5, 2005, 12:59 pm
I am just glad that I live in Norfolk and was born in Plymouth! As you have stated, we all knew this anyway, but were to polite to tell the world and considering our neighbours, we obviously shine moreso!
Good on our hooligans, who needs knives and guns when you have the power of fists and chairs!
My Wife is an American and will agree with the American statements as she knows that they are very insular as a nation, all except her of course!
Comment from Homo Insapiens
Time: June 5, 2005, 3:21 pm
Another proof that exercise works! Whilst the rest of the world are beating each other bloody with fists, bottles, missiles and truncheons, the trusty head-butt ensures that the English brain gets a good work out.
As always…enjoyed the post. Regards….
Comment from Edgar
Time: June 5, 2005, 4:38 pm
*Tips hat*
We Spaniards, on the other hand, not only hold the record for the longest penis, but also the record for the shortest ellapse of time (0.02 seconds) since the result of the poll is made public to the moment we shout: “But our dick’s longer!”
Comment from Marlowe
Time: June 5, 2005, 5:04 pm
Hi Cheryl, doesn’t the ’syndicate this site’ button work on the bottom right on the main page? Or do I have to set something up? I don’t have an RSS reader so have never tried it. I thought it worked by default.
Hi Scott, I suspect some Americans are more insular than others. The ones who read Blighty obviously aren’t insular at all.
Hi Homo Insapien, have a good break? I forgot about the trusty head-butt. That not a popular form of inflicting pain in America then?
Hi Edgar, damn, I think your reputation sounds much more impressive! 
Comment from Neighbour Of Teh Hoors
Time: June 5, 2005, 7:21 pm
Hehe!
good blog, made me laugh. Cheers! 
Comment from RuKsaK
Time: June 6, 2005, 11:11 am
Alwys knew I weren’t jsut some anyold rubbish idiot, init?
Comment from CW Fisher
Time: June 6, 2005, 1:42 pm
Smart? …smart… dressers? I agree with that.
Comment from KathyF
Time: June 6, 2005, 10:47 pm
I have Blighty Blog on my RSS feedreader, which just goes to prove: We are too not ignorant!
Comment from Marlowe
Time: June 6, 2005, 11:18 pm
Thanks NOTH, glad Blighty made you laugh
Yes, ruksak, we’ve learnt em!
Not everyone would agree about our dress sense I suspect, CW, although I believe London is big in the fashion world nowadays or something. Blighty shops at Gap so wouldn’t know.
I’m sure you’re not ignorant Kathy! Glad to hear you can access Blighty on the old RSS thingy.
Comment from Herge Smith
Time: June 8, 2005, 1:28 am
I’d like to note that I am a brit, and disprove that we are intelligent, or something… hold on, lost my thread
Comment from Marlowe
Time: June 8, 2005, 9:46 am
Hi Herge, you don’t think that the rest of the world are so ill-informed as to get us wrong too do you?
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