Longest Day
If you think today is dragging that’s because it’s the longest one of the year, it doesn’t just seem like that because of Tim Henman’s first round at Wimbledon. At Stonehenge thousands of nest-heads stopped off on their way to Glastonbury to celebrate having managed to get through another year without washing. They were joined at the Summer Solstice by the British Council of Druids led by King Arthur Pendragon, a 51 year old a vacuum cleaner salesman from Milton Keynes. Following him were a troop of warriors, otherwise known as drunken anthropology students.
Druids celebrate the shortest day, the longest day, the two equal days and any other day that they can get off work. The reason they choose Stonehenge as a venue for their biggest party of the year is to annoy its owners English Heritage. English Heritage don’t like people getting too close to the prehistoric stones because they are worried someone will stick one up their jumper and walk off with it. Previously a missing stone was discovered on King Arthur’s patio, supporting his double roasting barbeque. People were banned for a number of years as a consequence.
Around 20 000 people turned up to this year’s festivities and it passed off without any trouble. However, tourists have been advised not to visit for the next few days until the Stonehenge cleaning ladies have had a chance to tidy up. The view is currently obscured by a mountain of empty Stella Artois bottles and the stones are in need of a once over with a bottle of Mr Muscle.
Posted: June 21st, 2005 under Commentary.
Comments: 9
Comments
Comment from herge smith
Time: June 22, 2005, 1:48 pm
“mountain of empty Stella Artois bottles”
now that truly is a sight to marvel at on the longest day.
And those Druids aye? Anything for a knees up.
Comment from Homo Insapiens
Time: June 22, 2005, 3:21 pm
There is, of course, a bright side to the constant wandering of this gaggle of unwashed nutters across the primeval landscape. Between solsticing, bonking, staring into the sun, drinking, and passing around a spliff, they are too busy or incoherent to drop into the Pig & Whistle.
Regards –
Comment from Marlowe
Time: June 22, 2005, 6:28 pm
Hi Herge, yes, a mountain of Stella is one way to get through the longest day.
Hi HI, I think a stroll to the local Pig and Whistle’s beer garden is in order this evening. It’s like summer over here!
Comment from julie
Time: June 22, 2005, 9:30 pm
I’ve seen that King Arthur guy—he was at Tintagel one time when we visited there. Interesting guy, if a little smelly. 
Comment from Marlowe
Time: June 22, 2005, 9:53 pm
Hi Julie, I think he was on one of the BBC programmes last year about the National Trust. And if you’re wondering why Stonehenge was on a programme about the Nat Trust it’s because they own the land around it or something weird. Anyway, none of them got on, the NT, EH or SB (smelly buggers)
Comment from RuKsaK
Time: June 23, 2005, 3:59 am
Arthur deserves to me the star of the show once a year - much more than Tim friggin’ Henman.
Comment from Marlowe
Time: June 23, 2005, 11:07 am
Hi Ruksak, I suspect Henman’s days are numbered at Wimbledon. How is old Arthur with a racket?
Comment from hibiscus anne
Time: June 28, 2005, 12:09 am
Marlowe, I just love those pictures!
Keep up the good work, mate!
;)
Comment from Marlowe
Time: June 28, 2005, 10:12 am
Thanks Anne, glad you enjoy them!
Write a comment