The Windsors bill
The monarchy cost us Brits £37 million a year. You could get a state of the art leisure centre in Plymouth for that. Much more use, and they don’t breed.
This is all good news apparently. The Royals used to cost a whole lot more in real terms. They also did a whole lot more though. They ran the country, led us into battles, had their intestines ripped out while they were alive and burnt in front of them by the soon-to-be new incumbent. Now, if Prince Andrew had his intestines ripped out and burnt in front of him Blighty wouldn’t begrudge him his million pound travel bill quite so much. And maybe it would cost less lugging the waster about if he was gut-light.
Of course, the Windsors don’t cost us £37 million each! We Brits only pay 61p per head for the privilege of being a subject in our own country. But you could buy one and a half scones from Blighty’s local corner shop for that. Much better value, as I’m sure you’d agree if you ate one of them. I know which I’d rather have with jam and clotted cream. And they don’t breed either.
It’s not as if the Queen is sat on her superior posterior all day long, however. She does a lot of work, as any Daily Mail reading monarchist will tell you. But what old Queenie considers work - having big dinners, going to the theatre, having her photograph taken while on holiday in New Zealand - the rest of us consider leisure. Alan Reid reckons the Royals are good value for money, but he’s the Keeper of the Privy Purse. (Does that mean he cleans the Queen’s arse or is that something else? - Ed)
One of the Winsdor’s biggest expense is travel. They spent 5 million quid last year on catching the bus and such like. How much would a one way ticket to the moon cost? Blighty would chip in for that, even if it meant missing out on a cream tea for a day or two.
Posted: June 22nd, 2005 under Commentary.
Comments: 11
Comments
Comment from frobisher
Time: June 23, 2005, 11:33 am
How much longer are we going to put up with this shower of shit (the Windsors)? A life of unbelievable privilage and wealth, and they spend on average 80% of their time on holiday! The French had the right idea . . .
Comment from RuKsaK
Time: June 23, 2005, 1:03 pm
Always been not too happy with this one - that cow gets too much from us - even 61p is too much.
When was the last time you gave someone 61p because they needed it?
Comment from julie
Time: June 23, 2005, 9:36 pm
I’m not British, but 61p seems a paltry amount for all the entertainment value they provide. I’m constantly entertained by some dumb ass thing they’ve done!
Comment from Skarr
Time: June 24, 2005, 5:21 pm
I think you guys are better off with the monarchy than without it, as it provides some much needed distraction from the various ‘woes’ of the now fallen ‘Empire’.
When I was growing up, all I heard was about the might of the British Empire and how it would rise again, one day. Well, we are now in the 21st century and just think how expensive it would be to erase the Queen’s image from everything she’s currently on right now.
I’m not a Brit but I grew up with a number of them, in school. One thing which I always liked about Brits was their optimism and their feisty courage. Always ready for a fight and very touchy to defend the slightest perceived insult.
BTW, one of my favorite characters is Falstaff (Henry IV Parts I and II) - absolutely brilliant and no one but Shakespeare could have created such a character.
Comment from hibiscus anne
Time: June 26, 2005, 1:33 am
The monarchy (and its history) is a great tourism magnet.
Comment from John
Time: June 27, 2005, 5:45 pm
You guys will be sorry when you’ve lost the monarchy. It’s one of the last things keeping you from following the rest of Europe down the tubes.
Comment from Marlowe
Time: June 27, 2005, 6:54 pm
The monarchy is one of the last things keeping us from being a modern, progressive country. I tell you what, if you like them so much you can have them. Then we can visit you and say how quaint it all is.
Comment from hibiscus anne
Time: June 28, 2005, 12:08 am
“I tell you what, if you like them so much you can have them.”
No thanks, hon.
We fought you guys in 1776 to throw the yoke of the monarchy off our backs, remember?
Comment from Marlowe
Time: June 28, 2005, 10:17 am
I thought you might say something like that, which does make my point rather.
Comment from John
Time: June 28, 2005, 10:25 pm
“The monarchy is one of the last things keeping us from being a modern, progressive country.”
Other than a propensity to try on some new government system and start butchering each other every half-century or so, what does the rest of Europe have that’s so modern and progressive that Britain can use?
Comment from j_yates_uk
Time: June 29, 2005, 11:12 pm
I love the fact that foreigners love the royal family, whilst the majority of English people see them for what they are- unelected, spoilt and vain. How many people in the world inherit wealth when they’re born? The royal family should be resigned to history- if they want to remain a tourist attraction then they should privatise.
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