The Cotswolds are known for their honey-coloured houses set amid rolling hills inhabited by toffs who have had it with Chelsea. But that could soon change. A plan has been unveiled to build futuristic houses that wouldn’t look out of place in Sim City 3004. One thing won’t be changing however - the inhabitants. Some of the houses are expected to go for £10 million and they’re being sold as holiday homes! Blighty suspects that they’re not being aimed at the ’static caravan in Reighton Gap’ market.

The Cotswolds of the future

Readers won’t be surprised to hear that Barratts, specialists in almost life-size wendyhouses, haven’t got this particular gig. Indeed, Britain’s top architects have been called in to help design these cutting edge abodes. Some will have roofs that open like flowers. Others will slide out over the lake like swans. And another will cock up its back end against the nearest tree and evacuate the sewerage system. The catchword seems to be organic, which explains the plan for a house that grows over time, starting out as a two-bed semi it will evolve into an arcology able to house an entire town by the 22nd century. God only knows what the neighbours will think of it all by that stage.

Many of the locals are sceptical. Dorothy Snooter from Broadway is worried about the light they might lose if these space-age buildings are erected. ‘It could play havoc with our garden parties,’ she said today. Her neighbour Reginald Buck-Shott says that it could signal the end of the Cotswolds as we know them. ‘What would dear old Miss Marple make of it all,’ said the slightly senile ex-Major today before taking his afternoon nap. Penelope Trooper is worried that it might encourage riff-raff like millionaire footballers to the area. ‘I can only see these appealing to new-money damn them,’ she said before riding off to torment some wildlife or other.

Whatever the future holds for the Cotswolds, it doesn’t look as if they’re going to get any less exclusive in the next few years. But then, who wants Penelope Trooper as a neighbour anyway?