Sophia Severin has broken the world record for longest time spent snogging an ugly bloke who is glad for all he can get. Although, Sophia says James Belshaw was quite dashing when they started out on their marathon kiss, he just hasn’t aged very well. She says that his technique lost some of it’s appeal too, ‘It’s amazing how sloppy the mouth gets after a while. It began to feel numb, which was a relief to be honest. James is very tonguey.’

The bored publicity hunters took food in via a straw, something James said proved a tricky procedure, especially on Sundays when the traditional roast was on the menu. ‘The beef was cut very thin and we had small Jersey potatoes,’ he said today. Well, that’s what we think he said but his intonation isn’t all it should be after all that kissing.

Of course, what a person really needs after a good Sunday Roast is usually performed alone. Not for this do-anything-for-fame couple however. They just continued kissing regardless of the, erm… sensory activity around them.

The point at which it became really difficult and the record looked in danger was when James developed a gum infection which led to acute halitosis. Sophia said that during these bleak moments she just thought about all that publicity, her picture on the BBC website and a possible feature on Blighty Blog, and it kept her spirits up!