Blighty Guide to Sport-Speak
With the World Athletics Championships taking place in Finland, the Ashes poised at 1-1 and the English football season underway, Blighty thought it would be a good idea to help demystify some of that jargon spoken by sports commentators.
Commentatorspeak: British athletics is currently going through a transitional period
Translation: British athletics is currently rubbish, let’s have that lottery money back.
Commentatorspeak: Paula Radcliffe is the best distance runner in the world.
Translation: Paula Radcliffe is the wealthiest distance runner in the world, not bad for someone who has never won a medal.
Commentatorspeak: He is our best chance of a medal.
Translation: He probably won’t qualify for the final, waste of airfare!
Commentatorspeak: This is the blue riband event
Translation: This is the event Britain has the best chance of winning a medal in (doesn’t apply this year as we don’t have a chance in any event)
Commentatorspeak: So Michael Johnson, double world record holder, five time Olympic gold medalist, three time World Champion, what do you think of our plucky Brit finishing next to last there?
Translation: God, this is humiliating.
Commentatorspeak: It’s good to see English cricketers being aggressive for a change
Translation: Kill the Aussie bastards!!
Commentatorspeak: It’s good to see the Poms giving us a game at last.
Translation: Struth, bring back Andrew Caddick.
Commentatorspeak: Flintoff is really roughing up the Aussie batsmen.
Translation: That’s another broken bone, stop pretending it doesn’t hurt you antipodean poser!
Commentatorspeak: The football season is back at last.
Translation: I’d rather be watching the ashes, it’s only just started!
Commentatorspeak: What a game, the English Premiership is the best league in the world.
Translation: Hoof it up to the big man, I don’t care if you’re Portuguese!
Commentatorspeak: The flamboyant and outspoken Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho.
Translation: The egocentric, mouthy pratt Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho.
Commentatorspeak: He’s one of the best managers in the business.
Translation: His boss is one of the wealthiest owners in the business.
Commentatorspeak: Champions elect Chelsea.
Translation: Championship bought by Chelsea.
Posted: August 9th, 2005 under Blighty Guides.
Comments: 4
Comments
Comment from EKENYERENGOZI MICHAEL CHIMA
Time: August 11, 2005, 2:55 pm
I enjoyed every tongue -in-cheek sentence in the post.
You know Nigeria is a commonwealth country. And Nigeria has never learnt anything from the British more than the hypocrisy of the clergy. Personally I want all the Nigerian parasites in the UK to be deported back to Nigeria. The Nigerian footballers are underpaid and they are still giggling. Personally, I prefer the Americans to the British. The British said,”We are not afraid”. But, I know they are lying. Like Nigerians, they can lie like the Indians. But, I love the British girls and ladies.
Comment from Marlowe
Time: August 11, 2005, 6:39 pm
As Blighty is British and male I’m not sure what to think of that. At least I’m not clergy, or remotely religious.
Comment from weenie
Time: August 16, 2005, 1:26 pm
LOL - very funny but unfortunately, there’s nothing funny about the state of British athletics at the moment. Good job Paula didn’t do an “Athens” this time round.
Can’t say I agree with the above comment about the Indians though! :O
Comment from Marlowe
Time: August 16, 2005, 8:08 pm
Hi Weenie, yes Paula finally won a world medal. About time with the publicity and money she gets!
I’m a bit unsure about the above comments too :-/ (What’s he on about?)
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