If you’re not walking around your garden bumping into prophet bearing tree trunks this weekend (see below), you could well be stumbling across wrinkled old arses belonging to people like Mr and Mrs Pollard of Malmesbury. They have organised a day for people to wander around their garden without any clothes on. They have notified the local Peeping Toms but interest is minimal.

Mrs Pollard is a former model, but before you get excited Blighty should point out that the emphasis is on the word former. As she is now 53 year old no one will pay her to strip off so she’s doing it for free. She says that it took her a while to get her head around the idea of taking her clothes off but after a couple of minutes she came around.

Mr Pollard reckons that people will see it as a Garden of Eden. It is true that the sight of him wearing nothing but a trowel is enough to rot any fruit. He says that ‘People hide their real identity behind clothes.’ Your wrinkled arse may say a lot about you old chap but Blighty can think of better ways of expressing himself!

A visit to Gap seems in order.