Blighty returns from London sad to report that the terrorists have made a victory of sorts. The tourist industry has been so badly hit that you can even get close enough to the Rosetta Stone to see part of it. Albeit through a forest of American and Japanese cameras. Trying to walk through Leicester Square is as frustrating as ever though, resulting in bruised heels and shins.

Another visitor comes a cropper at the British Museum

The Blighties visited the capital at the same time last year, although there were only two of us then, and can make a direct comparison, especially as we revisited some of the same places this time around. Besides the drop off in tourists the other noticeable changes were the bag checks that seem to have become standard. At the British Museum any bombs are confiscated at the narrow entry gate and returned at the exit on the other side. Although the officials wisely left Blighty Jnr alone as she hadn’t been changed since before breakfast. Blighty top tip for religious lunatics - hide your bomb in a nappy.

There is a different policy in action at the National Gallery, however. There you are allowed to blow up the queues of people waiting to have their bags checked in the foyer. Perhaps they’re not bothered as long as the Van Eyck doesn’t get it. Blighty hopes that they look after Cezanne’s Bathers and Seurat’s Bathers at Asnieres. And there should definitely be armed guards stationed around Rothko’s room in Tate Modern at all times. Blighty is strictly a Modernist.

As for the nostalgic stuff the quaint photos of the changing of the guard will never be the same again as coppers now hover in the background carrying submachine guns. Should they really be worn hanging from the wrists like truncheons though?

Anyone who has stayed away, and there evidently are many, should be very careful in bed tonight. As Blighty reported a while ago here and here, there are more dangers in the home than on London’s streets. Just where will you hide?