Another day another bizarre World Championship in something silly enough to make the BBC website. And we’re not talking about the athletics, although the British jokers in Finland are ridiculous enough. No, we’re talking about the World Memory Championships taking place at Oxford University this weekend. Fifty competitors from around the world are taking part, if they all remember to turn up.

Apparently the Germans are strong this year. They’ve been practising by memorising the positions of differently coloured deck chairs around a pool in Côte d’Azur. That’s when they’re not rearranging the furniture in the restaurants in an effort to get fit. As every Memory Man knows, the fitter you are the more oxygen can reach the old noggin, which is good for remembering stuff, especially where the gym is.

British hopes hinge on 78 year old Malcolm the Memory Man, aka Whodyamacallit the ThingumyBob, improving on his previous performance when he couldn’t remember his name and was thus disqualified. He says that he’s been in training ever since and thinks his wotsit has improved. ‘I’ve spent time in the..thingy with weights and stuff. And I’ve been out doing that moving legs fast thing, so should be much… you know. And that will help me… doing whatever it is I have to do. Sorry, what were you saying?’

The winner will be crowned the Grand Master on Monday Evening, assuming they don’t lose track of time as was the case on the last occasion.