Archive for October, 2005
Drugs and drugs
As we all know, there are two kinds of drugs. There are those sold in Little Interlect newsagents along with the Daily Mail to Mrs Frobisher, reducing her life expectancy by ten years and adversely affecting the health of anyone within breathing distance, while they discuss the other kind, which are taken by young reprobates […]
Posted: October 27th, 2005 under Commentary.
Comments: 7
Blank canvas to lead Conservative party
The tories are disconcerted with their recent run of crushing election defeats. They consider themselves the natural party of government, being posh and thinking they own the place. Recent leadership elections have not helped matters, having been won by a Hammer Horror extra and two bald chaps whose names have escaped Blighty. As a result […]
Posted: October 22nd, 2005 under Commentary.
Comments: 2
Mars has not aged well
We’ve all been surprised, at some point, on being told by a bald headed man with a face like a map of central London that he’s doing his GCSEs this year and is actually female ‘you cheeky beggar!’, or by a soft skinned man with abundant locks of hair that he’s popping to the Post […]
Posted: October 20th, 2005 under In Passing.
Comments: 3
Blighty guide to flu pandemics
Everybody is talking about it, but is what they’re saying true? Can you believe the media? It is well known, for instance, that no comment in the Daily Mail has ever been factual. Their weather forecasts even predict plagues of locusts on clear sunny days, especially during a Labour Government. So, Blighty has decided to […]
Posted: October 17th, 2005 under Blighty Guides.
Comments: 6
Thatcher!
She is 80 this week. The woman who put a generation on the dole. It was a necessary evil apparently, which wouldn’t be so bad, if she hadn’t proceeded to blame the unemployed for their plight. It’s a startling fact that no one leaving school in the 80s got a job. In fact, they didn’t […]
Posted: October 14th, 2005 under Commentary.
Comments: 18
German invasion
German authorities are coming to terms with the fact that 100 000 English football fans will be travelling to their country next summer. At least 50 000 of them are expected to be drunk and singing songs about World War II. This, they suspect, could lead to problems.
Hosts of previous football championships have employed […]
Posted: October 11th, 2005 under Commentary.
Comments: 6
Plastic red tomatoes and bolemic green peppers
It’s official, British supermarkets are more interested in what the veg on their shelves looks like than they are in its taste. Thousands of tons of unpretty groceries are chucked away every year because it doesn’t resemble the veg on the cover of magazines and on TV cookery shows. Misshapen peppers are discarded like a […]
Posted: October 10th, 2005 under Commentary.
Comments: 3
