Europe’s Venus Express is departing this week, so if you fancy a short break to our nearest planetary neighbour, buy your ticket quick. It won’t actually reach the planet until next year, however, so some time off work would be required. It is ‘express’ in the same way as the rush hour train in the morning. Blighty wonders if passengers have to stand up and sniff each other’s armpits throughout the journey too.

Venus is very dry.

The reason for this little expedition is to try to work out how a planet so similar to earth has evolved so differently. Whereas we have a lush green, and rather wet, place, Venus is as dry as a bone, and about as colourful. And it doesn’t even have cable television!

This wasn’t always the case, however (the dry bit, not the cable television, as far as we are aware it never had that). At one time, in its youth, Venus was probably a bit of a looker, with a similar amount of seas to our place. It had some decent coastal resorts in those days, no doubt. Unfortunately that has all boiled away now, due to a rather extreme bout of the greenhouse gases, killing off the Bed and Breakfast trade entirely.

The news isn’t all bad for those thirsty Venusians, however. The latest long-term weather forecast predicts some wet weather is on the way, which could mean Venus looking something like earth in the future. Unfortunately, earth is expected to have become uninhabitable by then, so perhaps the Venus Express of the future will indeed carry passengers… with one-way tickets.