The BBC signalled its commitment to the arts over the Bank Holiday by launching its new major series on the Impressionists. There was some confusion about this initially as the commissioning editor thought he had authorised a three part drama on 1970s TV star Mike Yarwood but, as they had spent half the budget on baguettes and croissants by the time he visited the studio, it went ahead anyway. For those who missed the opening episode Blighty can recall some pertinent moments for you here.

Painting by Paul Cezanne

The scene opens in a cafe in Paris. We know we are in Paris because we can see the Eiffel Tower through the window.

‘How’s the work going Monet me old chum? Getting anywhere with that plein air business?’

‘Well, Manet, I have something to tell you. I think I’ve invented Impressionism by jove! But I’m not sure what the Salon will make of it all.’

‘Really Monet, I’d hardly take any notice of your barber on the matter of art!’

‘And why not? Why shouldn’t the humble barber have an opinion on the arts? Or should we leave it to the damned bourgeoisies?’

‘Well, they are the only blighters who buy our work. What about you Cezanne? What are you up to? Still painting that damned mountain?’

‘I’m treating nature by means of the cylinder, the sphere, the cone… old chap. I’m sure it will have profound influence on the Cubists. All this wishy washy ethereal stuff Monet is piddling about with is destined for the chocolate box.’

‘I say old boy, that’s a bit strong. By the way, how’s Vincents lughole?’

‘I saw Gauguin the other day, down at the docks - he’s off to Tahiti apparently, to discover symbolism. Anyway, he reckons Vince is mad. He’s fuming because Gauguin refused to cook his tea. It will end in tears.’

‘His latest work is wild, it seems to give expression to his inner turmoil. And no wonder, he can’t sell a painting.’

‘I made an offer for a picture of some sunflowers but he said that he wouldn’t let it go for less than $39 million and to leave him alone to eat some paint in peace.’

‘Damn fool.’

‘Fancy another absinthe? My round.’

‘I’d say so!’

Next week a Degas pastel on display in the Salon is smudged by an outraged traditionalist. And Seurat sees an eye specialist when his vision deteriorates after looking at dots all day.