The key to a successful Christmas dinner is to buy a turkey that isn’t carrying the Avian flu virus. There’s nothing worse than the whole family sitting down to eat the festive nosh and the centre-piece sneezing all over the place giving everyone a pandemic. It’s enough to put the dampener on the most jolly […]

As we all know, Christmas isn’t just about receiving. It’s also about taking presents back to the shop on Boxing Day to swap for something decent. Although, if Auntie Elsie buys you another scarf from the Edinburgh Wool Shop you might struggle to find a desirable replacement, unless you play golf, in which case you […]

To ensure an enjoyable festive period it is paramount that you avoid those religious types who want to spoil your fun and bang on about ‘the true meaning of Christmas’. If you do happen to be buttonholed by a bible bore trying to entice you into church with promises of lovely carol singing and candles, […]

Readers often say to Blighty, ‘Hey Blighty, with all these television channels nowadays, it’s getting hard to know what to watch. Could you put one of your world famous guides together to fill us in?’ So, not being one to ignore feedback from his faithful readership (hi mum), here is Blighty’s guide to the weekend […]

Everybody is talking about it, but is what they’re saying true? Can you believe the media? It is well known, for instance, that no comment in the Daily Mail has ever been factual. Their weather forecasts even predict plagues of locusts on clear sunny days, especially during a Labour Government. So, Blighty has decided to […]

With the World Athletics Championships taking place in Finland, the Ashes poised at 1-1 and the English football season underway, Blighty thought it would be a good idea to help demystify some of that jargon spoken by sports commentators.
Commentatorspeak: British athletics is currently going through a transitional period
Translation: British athletics is currently rubbish, let’s have […]

After ten years of listening to your neighbour strumming tunelessly on the Spanish guitar he bought while on holiday in Benidorm, you’re ready for a move. The first job is to drive down to B&Q to buy all the white paint you can fit in your car boot. This should then be plastered over your […]

While taking a leisurely stroll along the seafront at Lytham a curious feeling grips the walker. A sense that there is something missing. That something is the sea. Lytham has the curious distinction of being a seaside town that is nowhere near water. It would be more accurately described as a sandside town. Blighty top […]

For an establishment to be afforded the accolade Grottiest Bed and Breakfast in the UK, it has to go beyond mere discomfort and hideous decor. Competition is keen in this particular category as it is an industry stuck firmly in the 1950s. Bamburgh Hall Farm, however, seems to be stuck in the Jacobean period, as […]

Wimbledon is the quintessential British sporting event as it brings together three of our main obsessions - the weather, the class system and Brits being rubbish at sports we invented. Blighty will address each of these three main strands in turn.

Weather, of course, is why Wimbledon was invented. Clouds are watched intently as they edge […]